FIGHT ME.

TORAH YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, but i do it cuz I love it

• Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa: Torah obviously. Too busy daydreaming, being short, looking up at her giraffe boyfriend to read the signs on doors
• Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them: Both but instead of hearts its dragons and giraffes and other weird nonsense that these two doodle
• Who starts the tickle fights: Torah, though I can’t be sure if dirtbag is even ticklish so Torah probably provokes the tickle fight and by doing so immediately loses, every single time
• Who starts the pillow fights: Again Torah, dirtbag may let her win though because Torah’s so tiny and beating up something so small is just so sad after a while. But only after a few good pillow smacks to the face.
• Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile: Lewis probably, maybe pretends to fall asleep first and then once Torah’s asleep he’s just like aw look at this person, half my size, that I’m dating
• Who mistakes salt for sugar: I feel like this happens to Torah all the time, just again not paying attention but I feel like dirtbag can be oblivious sometimes to (see: how long it took for these two to get together) so it might happen to him sometimes too. But Torah. I can see it. Often. 
• Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning: both. it turns into a war. they’re both little shits and they actually start waking themselves up without any intention of eating the food they put in the microwave because they just want to one-up the other. it’s a problem. the neighbors hate them.
• Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines: UUUUUUGH TORAH (exhibit a)
• Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order: honestly the books probably just end up on the shelf, somehow. lewis puts books torah wants to read on the top shelves, just to screw with her.
• Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies: they both end up licking the spoon, and the bowl, and the batter, no brownies get made and they both end up with food poisoning from eating the raw batter
• Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion: Torah, they’re usually dragon shaped or something weird, what a freak
• Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen: Torah obviously. dirtbag probably wakes up and walks around without even realizing it anymore, or caring, just a walking pen-tattoo
• Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation: lewis, because he has the decency to actually purchase his souvenirs, meanwhile torah has seashells and wildlife stuffed into her bag
• Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines: torah but lewis doesn’t object, just does it without putting up a fight and even gets into it. hours go by and they learn that a giraffe and a tiny dragon have an unusually high compatibility rate